it's over, like, for real this time. i caved. i surrendered. call me french now, because i admit defeat. yeah, i just bought it off amazon now out of pure convenience instead of trying to go the long way around, i'm not even ashamed to say it anymore. jeff bezos won.
$400, gone, just like that now. all because someone brought a switch to the office and we had a little game night apparently you know, we played smash brothers. i played smash brothers once, on a much older console, i kinda remembered how it worked. oh yeah, sure, i can participate. i get absolutely btfo. no, no, this won't do! and then there's going to be more office parties like this? no, no, i gotta get my game up. i gotta get good, i gotta practice.
so i thought, hey, i have a pretty strong computer, i can emulate a switch, find a copy of smash brothers, and just practice with the controller i use for pc games sometimes. NOPE. turns out nintendo cracked down on yuzu, the switch emulator i was already familiar with and i know runs on my machine (and don't give me the ryujinx bull crap). shoot what do i do
spent time hunting for yuzu.exe. well turns out i had an older copy of yuzu in a diff computer, sweet, i can just use that. okay, progress. now to find the switch game file for smash brothers. uh oh, turns out the crackdown affected rom sites, none had a copy. okay, time for torrents. fitgirl.
ah, >fitgirl. i've heard things about >fitgirl repacks before, but never used one before. okay, this will be the right. spent time waiting for the torrent, spent time launching it. huh okay, fitgirl repacks have yuzu baked in. kinda cool, okay, but i didn't need to hunt for my earlier yuzu. waiting a while for it to load... and it turns out it loads openGL by default instead of vulcan which loads instantly. ugh.
reloaded. game is... functional? let's do a test battle. LAGGY FPS. literally unplayable. cannot practice with this. OH and i STILL have to unlock the main character i have to practice? good lord. i'm so done. c'est fini. a-m-a-z-o-n dot com, overnight mail -nintendo switch oled smash brothers pack-. sigh, whatever man. you win today, jeff bezos. but i will win the office soon enough when i come back and start smashin instead of getting smashed. i hate video games so much